


The Moon Lights Up the Scars on Your Soul

by llsilvertail



Category: Naruto
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Discord: Umino Hours, F/F, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka - Freeform, Implied Mitarashi Anko/Yuuhi Kurenai, M/M, No Smut, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Umino Hours Winter Bingo, both of those are accurate, implied human trafficking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:35:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29104908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llsilvertail/pseuds/llsilvertail
Summary: "Anko? Aren't you supposed to be on a mission?" He croaked back sleepily, sitting up so he could see her. Anko usually visited Kurenai and Mirai after an easy mission, or stopped by the training ground after a bad one, so her presence here was unexpected. "Did something happen?"She nodded wordlessly, responding after a moment. “It’s– it’s fine. I don’t–.” She paused and looked away, a barely-visible flush on her cheeks. “I just–” Her voice trailed off. “I just wanted a hug. I’m sorry.”He shook his head and opened his arms, scooting over to make room for her. “No, Anko, come here. You’ll never bother me.”Anko comes back after a bad mission. Iruka helps her when she breaks.
Relationships: Mitarashi Anko & Umino Iruka, Mitarashi Anko/Yuuhi Kurenai
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23
Collections: The Umino Hours Winter Bingo 2020





	The Moon Lights Up the Scars on Your Soul

**Author's Note:**

> For the Umino Hours Discord server's Winter Bingo square Kotatsu Cuddles.
> 
> This really wasn't supposed to be this graphic, but I needed a reason for Anko to need cuddles but not in a bed...so this happened. ~~I'm so sorry Anko 😭~~.
> 
> Much love to [Laz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubokko/pseuds/Jubokko) for beta reading this fic!!❤️ ❤️
> 
> This may be triggering. If you're concerned, please please please see end notes for more details.

Iruka could hear someone quietly making their way through the wards on his window and he subconsciously reached for the kunai under his pillow. The last time an intruder was skilled enough to get past them, Iruka had to get a new mattress and Kakashi gained a new scar.

It took him a moment to push through his sleepiness and recognize Anko’s chakra signature. She was probably here to get him back for what he did to her hot chocolate before her last mission and he reached out a small tendril of chakra to gauge how much destruction her revenge would cause.

Her chakra levels were much lower and more erratic than usual and Iruka wondered what happened. It was entirely unexpected and, even with how well he knew her, he wasn’t sure what the cause was.

Preoccupied, Iruka only noticed his slipping control when Anko's chakra coiled up, ready to defend her. He quickly pulled his back and Anko’s chakra relaxed.

"Hey, Iruka." Anko whispered and Iruka sat up so he could see her better. The moonlight streaming in through the open window lit up the side of her face and the shaky hand reaching towards him.

"Anko? Aren't you supposed to be on a mission?" He croaked back sleepily, sitting up so he could see her. Anko usually visited Kurenai and Mirai after an easy mission, or stopped by the training ground after a bad one, so her presence here was unexpected. "Did something happen?"

She nodded wordlessly, responding after a moment. “It’s– it’s fine. I don’t–.” She paused and looked away, a barely-visible flush on her cheeks. “I just–” Her voice trailed off. “I just wanted a hug. I’m sorry.”

Iruka’s eyebrows furrowed as his sleep-addled mind processed what she’d said. Anko hadn’t asked for that in years. Probably since the last time she came across one of Orochimaru’s abandoned hideouts. 

Iruka realized he’d paused too long when Anko pulled her hand back and retreated toward the window. “I can still go. If you’re too tired and I’m bothering you.”

He shook his head and opened his arms, scooting over to make room for her. “No, Anko, come here. You’ll never bother me.”

Anko looked away and shook her head. “Not in bed. I saw–” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, blinking back tears that shimmered in the moonlight. Iruka felt a shudder of horror go down his spine as Anko’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Iruka, there were so many of them, tied down, unable to move. I could hear their blood dripping. The mattresses were soaked through.”

She shivered and Iruka quickly slipped out of his bed so he could wrap his arms around her. A few moments later, she slumped into him and he could feel her shaking. A damp spot formed on his shoulder as she sobbed soundlessly and he pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head. She felt almost delicate. Like she had lost too much weight. Like she would dissolve in the moonlight if he let her go, but shatter into pieces if he held her too tight.

Iruka refused to let either happen.

He rocked her gently until he felt her tears slow and he whispered softly. “Do you want to sleep under my kotatsu?”

She nodded, her voice choking up. “Yeah. Can you come with me? I– I don’t think I can be alone right now. I just got back.”

She grasped his shoulders tightly and pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “I had to just sit there and watch Iruka. Do you understand? I couldn’t _do_ anything. Just _sit there_ and _watch_ , waiting for reinforcements.” Her voice trailed off and she clung to him even tighter.

Iruka bit his lip and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He carefully moved her so she was tucked into his side. “Feel ready to walk?”

She exhaled shakily and nodded, shifting to let go of him. 

“It’s okay Anko. I’m here. I’m not letting you go.” He carefully started leading her into the dark hallway. “Come on. Let’s get you settled and I’ll grab you something to wear.”

“No!” Anko said harshly, pulling Iruka against her tight enough to make him gasp. Her voice trembled. “You can’t leave me there! Please! Don’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be left behind again. I–” She cut herself off with a sharp inhale. “Please Iruka. Please don’t go. You said you wouldn’t let me go.”

“Okay.” Iruka whispered and wrapped his arm around her more firmly, readjusting to pass the window as they made their way toward the closet. “We can do it together then.”

They reached the closet and Iruka pulled out one of his old civilian shirts and sweatpants. He turned to face her, noticing a cloud drifting across the moon out of the corner of his eye. “Do you want me to help you change?”

Anko breathing sped up and she shook her head. “He was touching them everywhere Iruka. They were awake. It was like when I was with–” Iruka froze as she cut herself off again. He could remember how difficult it was when she finally understood the extent of Orochimaru’s treachery. If this was anything like that– “He was taking notes on them.”

She exhaled and detached herself from Iruka, grabbing the clothes he was holding. “I can do it. I just– Stay with me? Please?”

Iruka nodded mechanically, mind still whirling with the implications of what she’d said. It must have been dire for her team to leave Anko behind, especially considering how well known her history was. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know why.

“Iruka?” Anko’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts. “I’m done changing. Do you still want to stay with me under the kotatsu?” 

He nodded again and pulled her back into his side, her hair tickling his neck. “Yeah, I do.” He led her towards the circle of light that lit up the bedroom door and they slowly made their way to the kotatsu.

“Make it warm, please.” Anko shivered and grabbed one of the blankets Kakashi left out under a window. Iruka nodded and raised the temperature as Anko got under the blanket, leaving him quite a bit of room to slip in beside her.

After a few minutes of Anko holding herself away from him uncomfortably, Iruka sighed, breaking the silence. “You can hug me if you want to, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” She said and relaxed into him, letting his arms wrap around her.

After what felt like hours, and Iruka had nearly drifted off, Anko spoke again. “We’d been tracking them for months but they kept slipping out of our grasp. Not even Kakashi, the Inuzuka, or the Aburame could catch up to them, they were on alert for every major Konoha clan. Hell, even the Hyuuga weren’t able to see through their barriers, so we had no idea what they were doing.” She paused and amended. “No, we had no idea what they were capable of. But there _was_ one tracker they didn’t know about.”

Iruka took in a sharp breath. “Your summons.” He said flatly, not searching for confirmation. He knew how much she hated using them.

“Yeah, Kinako. She was able to gather enough intel to get me in, but I knew I wouldn’t have enough chakra to get anything but a message out.” Her hands clutched the front of his shirt tighter.

“You thought it would be fine.”

She nodded.

“It wasn’t.”

She shook her head. “But I’m glad it was me. The only other person who stood a chance of getting in was Hyuuga Junko, and you _know_ what happened to her.”

She started shaking against him again and Iruka pulled her closer, making soothing noises.

“Iruka. They were ra–” Her voice broke and she coughed, continuing with a wavering voice. “They didn’t care. They used the kids’ own blood to– to–, even after they were dead. I saw so many of them die.”

She started shaking harder and Iruka could feel her nails digging in where they were clutching at his bicep. “They replaced them so fast. They didn’t change the bedding or anything. They just, replaced the children. I don’t even know where they were coming from.”

Iruka gritted and tightened his arms around her, horrified. “Shh. You’re so strong Anko. You’re so brave.” He pressed a kiss on the small ray of moonlight resting on her head. “You’re a good shinobi. You made sure to get them the intel that was needed so they can’t hurt any more.”

Anko shook her head. “But I just left those kids to die. I _watched_ them die. I don’t know if I– I didn’t– I’m not–” She stuttered for a moment before collecting herself and continuing to speak.

“I wanted to skin them you know. I never slept unless Kinako was there, and even then, all I could think about, all I could _dream_ about, was how nice it would feel to dig my nails into his stomach and rip him apart so his intestines would spill out. So he was paralyzed by the blood trickling down his side.” Her voice lowered to a growl. “So he was as empty as those kids felt.” 

She stopped and swallowed, the sound loud in the silence. When she spoke again her voice was thick with tears. “They found me when the reinforcements arrived. I couldn’t get out fast enough and Kinako died defending me.”

She gave a choked laugh. “Sensei hated her so much. She was the first snake I summoned without him and he was always making comments about her name, her size, her age, trying to get me to leave her.” Her voice sunk to a whisper. “I almost did Iruka. She’d been with me the whole time, yet I was willing to give her up. And now?” She hid her face in his chest. “Now she’s gone.”

She let out a quiet sob and curled up into Iruka’s chest. “I couldn’t protect her and the kids and now they’re all _gone_.”

Iruka felt his heart breaking as he hummed, stroking her hair carefully. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” She whispered. “It’s okay. It feels nice.”

They lay in silence for a few minutes until Anko spoke again. “Hey Iruka?” She said, her voice low and sleepy. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“Of course. Always.”

As they both drifted off to sleep in the still moonlight, Iruka vaguely wondered how bad the next morning would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Anko describes seeing graphic rape, mutilation, and (what can be taken as) torture of children for experiments. It's in somewhat extreme detail, but there's more than enough for me to say tread _very_ carefully. She describes wanting to mutilate/disembowel the perpetrators in detail. She has a panic attack because she doesn’t want to be left alone.
> 
> Please let me know if there's anything I should add to the tags.


End file.
